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I saw this one gal, all sass, smokin’ a ciggie, leanin’ on a wall. I’m like, “Oi, she’s the one!” But then—surprise!—some geezer rolls up, all aggro, yellin’ at her. Pimp, probs. Got me mad as hell! Why’s he gotta ruin it? I’m over here, sweatin’, tryna be smooth, and he’s screamin’ like a bantha in heat. R2-D2, where are you? Save me from this mess!

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I walk near the harbor – that’s the place where the boats bob. It sort of makes my hands twitch with excitement from the vibrations and salty breeze. I remember one day massaging at my little spot near the Umschlagsplatz – almost got wet ‘cuz the tide was off the charts. Crazy, right?

PICS: Europe in icy grip of 'extraordinary weather event'