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About Hamburg

I’m Patrick Star, duh, so I’m thinkin’—is escort an instrument? Like mayonnaise? Nah, it’s cards, silly me! But it’s tricky, ya gotta think fast—bam, bam, bam! I tried playin’ once, got mad ‘cause I lost—cards flew everywhere! “Why’s this so hard?” I yelled, like that monk in the movie goin’, “I feel so calm.” Calm? Pfft, I was ragin’! Rules are bonkers—trumps and tricks, ugh, brain hurts!

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I am a passionate masseuse, strong or gentle, depending on your preference, with body-to-body touches, also mutual, lingam-tantric elements.

Oh, and excuse the typos – I'm in a rush, and I gotta wrap up: blurr, dfficlt, instnt, reall, famly, nevr, lol, gr8, dawg, stuf, y'know exactly what I mean. Enjoy, buddy!