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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m comin’ at ya like a damn Combine Harvester tearin’ thru the fields! Today we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this—I’m cruisin’ the backroads, dust kickin’ up, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *The White Ribbon*, that creepy-ass Michael Haneke joint from 2009. Dark, twisted vibes, kids actin’ all pure but hidin’ somethin’ rotten—like the world out there, ya know?

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You start off on Hauptstraße – yeah that main drag – where the buzz never stops. I used to hack away on my app while sippin’ a cold brew there, watchin’ people pass by, laughin’ like something out of “Only Lovers Left Alive” as Jim Jarmusch would have it, “I want to be with someone who understands promises of eternity…” or somethin’ like that. Crazy, eh? Sometimes I mumble “Sharon!” in my head when the vibe swings just right.

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