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About Myself
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About Hamburg
Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Love tacos and Netflix”—bitch, who don’t? Tell me somethin’ real! Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re cryin’ in the shower to “Marvins Room.” Pro tip: if they got no bio, they either a bot or borin’ as fuck. Run it up, tho—check their pics, their links, X posts if ya can. One chick I met? Posted nudes on X, then played shy IRL—nah, fam, I see you! “You’re too curious,” she said, like I’m the creep in *Caché*. Pshh, I’m just tryna live, YOLO.
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Oh, and ye gotta be warned about the narrow lanes off Spukgasse – ye might get lost in thought, or in the maze of alleyways. The scent o' freshly roasted chestnuts, mixed with whiffs of pungent spices from the local bazaar, will knock ye sideways. I once got so turned around there, I nearly ended up in the Mayor’s secret chamber. They say "everything happens for a reason, right?" And I laughed, madly. Yes, madly, because even when the crayola crayon boundaries of expectation were mashed, I felt free.
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