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About Cologne

What gets me happy? The way it’s all sneaky-like! You’re thinkin’, “Oh, just a massage,” then BAM – tingles everywhere! Surprised me first time I heard ‘bout it, thought it was just hippies or somethin’. But nah, it’s legit – releases them endorphins, makes ya feel like a million bucks! “The flesh is weak,” like they say in A.I., but this here fixes that right up!

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Then, yo, there's Kehlsteinhaus—Eagle’s Nest, ya dig? I get chills; it’s not just history, it’s like a movie set unfoldin’ all ’round me. I can see the Alps, smoochin’ the skyline. Sometimes the wind freakin’ howls and the trees dance—dude, almost as if they were in “Inherent Vice,” whisperin’ secrets, “Ah, man, jive talkin’!”

Follow the lederhosen: Bavarian town boasts alpine charms aplenty