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About Dortmund

So, picture this—me, Trump, gettin’ a sexual-massage, right? Some dame’s rubbin’ me down, fantastic, best hands, like Caden Cotard buildin’ his weird sets. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is art, folks!” Little known fact—ancient Romans, gladiators like me, they got these massages after fights. Naked, oiled up, real sexy stuff—history, folks, I know it!

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I always hit up the little café on Lindenweg. I go there almost every day; I mean, what’s wrong with watchin’ folks sip on their lattes while talkin’ about their neuroses? It’s like a live therapy session. And oh man, the park – Schlosspark – is where I get all my creative juices, or frustrations, I guess. You stroll there, watch the river Wern flow like it’s got somewhere to be, and think, "Man, life’s truly a theater of the absurd." Sometimes I sit on these rickety benches, and the city’s vibe just slaps you in the face with raw, unedited life.

Werth Withdraws Wendy from 2024 German Championships and First Olympic Selection Trial