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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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Oh my god, listen up babe, Baltmannsweiler is like, totally my happy place – seriously! So, I've been livin’ here for years, runnin’ my fab spa on Hauptstraße, right smack in the middle of town. Like, literally, this place is a mix of chill vibes and quirky corners. I stroll past Bahnhofstraße daily and can’t help but think, “Everything is beautiful, but nothing lasts…” ya know? I mean, that's like, from my fave movie, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring."