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What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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The park near Wasserwaldplatz, man, it's a hit. I've been seein’ couples stroll n’ old timers laughin’ n’ talkin’ so smooth. Sometimes, I just park meself on a bench, thinkin’ “Is it 'cos I is black?” – nah, it's just deep soul energy, innit. I even got a fav corner – right near Mia’s Gasse. Dunno why, mate, it gives me zen feels that make my spa vibe even stronger, like kung-fu calm, ya know?

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