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Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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Y’know, some locals say the church on Kirchplatz has a history like no other – they whisper its past on windy nights. I’ve felt a chill there and, man, it still creeps me out sometimes... but in a good way. Total mix bag of feels, from anger to pure joy. I felt like screaming “Here’s Johnny!” just to release the tension.

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