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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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I been in where things go wrong too, ya know? One time, traffic near Bachstrasse was so awful, I almost lost my cool. Definitley, I had a misstake driving there – becuase the road was like a maze! And my spa guests, they snicker, say “Joe, you’re always behind schedule.” I just laugh and say “Spcial days, my friend.”

Best photographs of the day: Kathmandu parades and a busy bee