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About Berlin

I’m picturin’ it now—dim lights, oils, hands slidin’ everywhere. Great Scott, it’s art! Not some sleazy porno flick vibe, nah, it’s classy—like a Coen brothers shot, all moody and deep. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they had these “massage parlors”—rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by pros, half of ‘em buck naked! True story, blew my mind! Bet Larry’d be like, “What am I doing here?”—all awkward, sweatin’ bullets.

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The parks here rock too. Take Am Wiesengrund: it's a lush green space where I like to catch my breath and watch families, old couples, and the odd squirrel act like they own the world. Feels kinda cinematic, reminds me of those crazy breakaway moments from Spring Breakers: pure chaotic bliss.

In pictures: Germany grapples with flood aftermath