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One time, I see escort—blonde, big boobies, wow! She wink at me, I think, “Very nice!” She say, “50 buck, I make you happy.” I laugh, “In Kazakhstan, we trade goat for that!” She no like that, get mad—face red like tomatoe. I say, “No worry, I fix your chair!” She scream, “I no need chair!” So funny, I almost pee pant.

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I’m tryin’ not to ramble, but hey, this city is full of surprises. Every corner in Bad-Laasphe has its own whisper, each street more alive than the last. I mean, even the slept-in, slightly run-down Spreeweg has some hidden charm. Everyone here is, like, a little odd in the best way possible.

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