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About Dortmund

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

KRISTYNE 🔞

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Hmm… the neighborhoods? The Altstadt is full of history—old bars, nostalgic smells, and like, the life pulse is so raw it’ll hit ya hard. Sometimes when I'm hustlin' as a pleasure coach, I just miss these corners, the little scars and smiles of a real town. It's like living a live reel of Steve McQueen's grind.

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