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About Cologne

So, sexual-massage—woo, it’s wild! Not yer average rubdown, nah. It’s all about that slow tease, gettin’ ya tingly, real intimate-like. I heard—get this—back in the ‘60s, hippies in Cali were all about it. Called it “tantric touch” or some jazz. Little secret? They’d sneak it into communes—shh, don’t tell! Made me giggle, thinkin’ folks were so chill, just vibin’ with oily hands.

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Man, sometimes I get mad when tourists treat our traditions like mere pit-stops. They forget the soul of our place. I remember a day, piss mad, when some outsider messed up the neat garden at Kurparkweg. I was like, "No way, buddy, not on my watch." But then I took a deep breath, and as the film said—I must break you, baby! It’s not all gloom though: every street corner has a story, every crack in the pavement, you know?

Phillip Price hits a hole-in-one