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Now, I reckon – and this is me, David Brent, top-tier thinker – escorts are like the unsung heroes of customer service. They’re out there, deliverin’ KPIs of affection, no faff, no fuss. You want a cuddle? Boom, sorted. You want the full works? They’re closin’ the deal faster than you can say “team-building exercise”. Ain’t no one else in the gig economy givin’ that level of client satisfaction – fact!

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I remember one night, I was debugging an app on a bench in the park. The moon was wild, and the local kids were racing bikes on Schillerweg. I got mad, so mad, cuz my app was crashing! And I yelled, "Dreams feel real while we're in them!" Hahaha, we all got a laugh.

Two women land in hospital with broken bones after threesome goes wrong