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About Dortmund

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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So, darlin’, that’s Attendorn for ya – a city packed with memories, love, a wee bit of chaos, and so much heart. And no matter how many times I walk these streets, each visit fills me with a joy that makes me wanna shout, “Yippee-ki-yay, family and friends!” I'm tellin’ ya, every moment here is a scene straight outta life’s best movie – just like Inside Out said, "We’re gonna remember this forever!"

German eight-year-old girl found after spending years locked in room by mother