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About Hamburg

But—hah!—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, hairy git, met his wife on OkCupid. Proper shock, that! “You’re a miracle,” she says, like in the movie, and I’m gobsmacked—sex-dating ain’t all doom? Rare, tho. Most times, it’s STD scares or weirdos textin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. Had a laugh once—bloke bragged he shagged 50 birds off Plenty of Fish. Liar! Smelled fishier than his story, precious.

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So, bout the streets – Hauptstrasse is the heartbeat of this place. I used to spill my emotions on a bench there. I’d sometimes chuckle thinkin', life’s too short, right? Then there’s Schloss Johannisburg. That castle? WOW. It’s majestic, and sometimes I swear its walls whisper secrets of old times. Pompejanum on the banks of the Main River? Crazy beauty. I was off my rocker once, starin' at it, feelin' all connected to everyone's tale.

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