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About Dortmund

Favorite moment? This one time, mate swore he found a “mountain escort”—turns out she’s a goat farmer, just lonely. Laughed my ass off—classic bait’n’switch. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”—Ida vibes hittin’ hard, judgin’ his rookie move. Surprised me how chill she was, tho—offered us tea while we froze our nuts off. Made me happy, that raw human bit in the mess.

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First off, Asbach ain't your run-of-the-mill boring place. You've got the old cobblestone streets like Am Markt and Kaiserstrasse – they're kinda beat up, but they got history. I often take a stroll down Lindenweg when I'm clearing my head after a long day of kneading those so-called “rich folks’ problems”. And let me just say: Billionaires should not exist!

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