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About Dortmund

Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, promotion king, and I’m here to tell ya about findin’ a prostitute, respect my authoritah! So I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Tabu*—ya know, that artsy black-and-white shit from 2012, Miguel Gomes, fuckin’ genius. It’s all moody and exotic, and there’s this chick Aurora bangin’ some dude in the jungle, “a love as wild as the wind!”—and I’m like, hell yeah, that’s the vibe I want when I’m huntin’ for a hooker!

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Back in the day, I'd massage folks right near the old Rathaus, watching the gothic spires catch the last rays of the sun. I mean, that feeling is almost poetic… kinda like a scene from Moolaadé, "I choose violence." Not in the brutal way, but because beauty demands fierce protection.

DEC: S.I. turkeys won’t be relocated until sanctuary stops them from wandering off property