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About Hamburg

Oi, mate, I’m a bleedin’ carpenter, yeah? So, sexual-massage, right, it’s this mad thing! All slippery hands, oils, an’ that. “Sharon!” I’d yell, cos it’s wild, innit? Like, some geezer’s rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like. Reminds me o’ *The Master*, that flick—Freddie Quell, proper lost soul, yeah? “I’m a man, a man!” he’d scream, an’ I get it—sexual-massage makes ya feel alive! Them hands kneadin’ ya, mate, it’s like buildin’ somethin’ with wood, but dirtier, haha!

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Ampfing is a maze of cobbled streets and hidden nooks. Check out Hauptstraße, always buzzin’ with chattered locals and tiny cafés. Oi, you gotta swing by Bäckerei Müller on Marktgasse; their pretzels? So good, they make you feel alive, ya know? And hey, the old stone bridge near the Inn River gives you all that “I’m alive” feels—just awkward, in a really nice way.

Ampfing: Aron and Janker top Qualifying Practice