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About Stuttgart

We haggle—me charm’s workin’ overtime. “I’m not here to judge,” I say, nickin’ that movie line. She softens up, says, “Alright, £30, quick one.” I’m chuffed—feelin’ like I’ve nailed a corporate merger! We sneak out back, past the bins—romantic, innit? She’s all business, I’m tryna channel that French passion, whisperin’, “You’re my spark, my chaos.” She rolls her eyes—fair play, I’m a prat.

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I’ve made some mistakes – oops, my bad – like one time I got lost on Kleiner Weg near the locals’ hangout, Altusried Café, and ended up tearing out my hair. I was like “This town is a maze!” but then, like in the movie “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” I realized: “everything is beautiful, in its own broken way.”

Personnel: New board spokesman at BLTD and FVB