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About Dusseldorf

Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, I’m pissed already! This world’s goin’ to crap, like in *Melancholia*—you know, that flick where Kirsten Dunst just stares at the damn planet crashin’ down? “I know things,” she says, all gloomy. Well, I know stuff too, assholes! Like, did ya know back in old Rome, hookers wore blonde wigs to stand out? Freakin’ wild, right?

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Oh boy, the parks! There’s Lindenpark, where kids run wild and I sometimes do my “pleasure coaching” thing—you know, deep talks on life and love by the Oppenheimerallee bench. I once had a session there and got so into the vibe; I swear I could see a thousand ideas poppin’ like popcorn in my brain. And hey, sometimes I get mad ‘cause the pigeons think they own the place—but c’mon, even pigeons got dreams!

Irish goalkeeping legend suffers double family bereavement over Christmas period