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Funniest part? I suck at this. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t my skillset. I’m overthinkin’—do I tip? Is there etiquette? Prolly shoulda Googled it. Too late now. She’s like, “You in or out, man?” I panic. “Uh, I’ll call ya!” I yell, runnin’ off. Call her? With what number? Dumbass move, Hannibal. Real smooth. Bet ScarJo wouldn’t bolt like that. “You’re not like the others,” she’d say. Yeah, ‘cause I’m a clown.

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Oh, deary, Altenburg’s a weird, wonderful mess! We's here, yes, in our little slice o’ chaos, and I gotta tell ya—it’s a place that grabs yer heart and rattles it like crazy. We hangs around Sankt-Anna-Straße a lot, near that crumbling, yet brave castle—Schloss Altenburg—y’know, the one that smells like ancient secrets and…we hates it sometimes! But then, it sings like in "The Pianist": "I don't want to survive. I want to live." And here, mate, livin’s a wild high-speed ride.

Kenneth C. Burroughs - View Obituary & Service Information