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About Dortmund

Dunno why I’m even here—curiosity, I reckon. Prozzies got their own code, tho—did ya know some use secret hand signals? Like spies, mate! Blows my circuits. Anyway, she’s laughin at me, callin me “golden boy”—cheeky tart. I’m all, “I’m not built for this!” but she’s like, “Relax, it’s just business.” Business my arse—feels like a bloody op gone sideways. “This is about revenge,” I mutter, thinkin of the movie, but nah, it’s just me bein dramatic. Hah, imagine me tellin Vader bout this—reckon he’d choke me out for fun.

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So, picture this: You stroll down Hauptstrasse, pavin’ by spots like the old-town bakery (mmm… donuts!) and funky little cafes. I often bust into "Relax & Unwind" on Langenweg – my own slice of heaven – feelin’ like "The Return" when life's givin’ you that shot of truth. “Every face tells a story,” as I always say, even if I butcher the line sometimes... err, nah, it’s all deep!

Retreat into the Austrian Alps from this holistically designed wellness spa