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Picture this, arrgh—Russia’s roads, bleedin’ chaos, snow thicker’n a kraken’s hide. Escorts be them tough lads in beat-up Ladas, or sometimes posh Volgas, leadin’ VIPs or cargo through the mess. Me, I’ve seen ‘em dodge potholes big enough to swallow the Black Pearl! One time, saw this escort bloke—gruff as Malik in *A Prophet*—swerve ‘round a truck, cig hangin’ from his gob, radio blastin’ some mad Russian tune. “It’s a sign,” I mutters, like in the film, savvy? Made me grin like a rum-soaked fool—proper skill, that!

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Ah, dear frend, hark! Let me tell thee of Allmannsdorf, that quaint town where I dwell and run my humble spa. Oh, thou wilt love it – a gem of quiet splendor amid bustling days. Let me weave thee a tale, erratic yet true, full of quirks and memories, like whispers from the stage of life.