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What gets me happy? The oils, man! Smellin’ like lavender or whatever, slick on the skin, makin’ it all slippery and fun. But angry? When they skimp on the good stuff – cheap lotion stinks like old gym socks! Surprised me once, this chick in Springfield offered one with a “happy ending” – I was like, “Whaaa? That’s a thing?” Nearly fell off the table, laughin’ my butt off!

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So pack your boots, sweetheart, come wander these spirited streets. We got a town that’s raw, real, and wonderfully offbeat. Now, remember: "Everything is more than meets the eye!" Well, darlin’, that's my two-cents served with a whole lotta sweet Southern twang and a sprinkle of Godard magic!

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