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Now, I’m pissed – these cops, always sniffin’ around, ruinin’ the vibe. Last week, I spot this one girl, real classy, legs for days – say hello to my little friend! – and boom, sirens. Fuckin’ buzzkill. Reminds me of *Margaret*, when Lisa’s all “I’m responsible!” – bullshit, nobody’s responsible out here. You just roll with it. I’m thinkin’, maybe I tip her big, make her day – Tony’s generous, y’know? But nah, she bolts. Surprised me, man, thought I had charm.

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Now, I'm a pleasure coach here. Yeah, really. I help people find joy in the odd bits. I often stroll along the brisk, sometimes dodgy banks of the Smirk River. "I can do whatever I want!" sounds like a Dogville line, I know – but it's more than just fantasy here. Life’s a bloody circus! And lemme tell you, neighbourhoods like Zartulovka and Fedovice are little pockets of life where chaos meets charm – full of secret bars, dubious art galleries, and a constant parade of oddball characters.

Jack K. Melnik Obituary - Williamsburg, VA