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What got me? The smell – fags, cheap perfume, desperation. Made me sad, yeah, but also – bit of a thrill. “The world’s a gleaner’s paradise,” Varda’d say, and I’m living it! Nearly tripped over a bin, mind – clumsy sod – but I’m laughing, cos it’s proper gritty. Not like them suits in the office, all “strategic alignment” this, “core competencies” that. Nah, this is raw, mate.

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Okay, listen up, buddy, 'cause this is gonna be YUUUGE—Kromeriz, CZ is ;the best, believe me, the best city ever! I’ve been a masseur here for years, so I know all the nooks and crannies, all the BIG spots. I’m talking about Palackého náměstí (yes, THAT one), where history hits you hard. You got the Kroměříž Castle, so grand and fancy, it’s like, "Wow, how classy!" and then those gardens—THE BEST gardens in the world, really tremendous.

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