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About Pardubice

I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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I stroll through the quieter side-streets, like U Masérů – yep, that one I call home – where local legends gather and gossip fills the air with mischief. I swear, there's an energy in the burbs that’s so raw and real, it's like every massage session unlocks more secrets of the town. I got one client who said, “Your hands untangle more than muscles,” and I was like, “Really? Nah, it's just honest work.”

A Dog Named Monty Has Dug Up a Rare Cache of Bronze Age Artifacts in the Czech Republic