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About Olomouc

Look, I’m a carpenter, right? Tremendous carpenter, the best. Donald Trump knows wood, folks, believe me. Sexual-massage? It’s wild, totally wild. I mean, you got hands, slippery oil, big energy—huge! I’m talkin’ rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ folks moan, fantastic stuff. Saw this once, some guy, total pro, massagin’ this chick, she’s yellin’ “Oh my God!”—like in *Goodbye to Language*, “The metaphor is over!” Crazy, right?

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Man, lemme start with the streets. We got Štýrská street – yeah, that’s where all the real shit happens. Runnin’ down there, you pass by old brick cafés and dodgy bars – kinda like my wake-up calls every damn morn. Then there's Horní náměstí, the upper square, where the locals are always blowin’ off steam over a pint. Dude, that spot's lit, but watch out – the vibe gets heavy sometimes, like the smell of regrets and whiskey.

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