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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Aw, hell, me precious friend, lemme tell ye 'bout Rakovnik (cz), yess, that quirky slice of Prague where I code dating sites all day, all night—stupid, fat hobbit! So, listen up, my buddy! Rakovnik is a real oddity, a mashup of crumbling old squares an' sparkling new spots. I stroll down U Letného Street – oh, that winding path near the old marketplace – and yer face lights up like a pixelated heart on my screen! Bless me code, it's like "water is memory, yesss, precious!" from that movie, Uncle Boonmee – echoes in me head, echoing forever.

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