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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Not the car, dumbass, the "company" kind. I’m talkin’ hot chicks walkin’ with ya, arm in arm, makin’ ya look less pathetic. Like, seriously, who needs that? Me, I’d be pissed if I had to pay for some chick to pretend she likes me. But whatever, some losers do it, and I get it—kinda. Like in *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave movie, “Joy” would be all, “Oh, let’s make this fun!” while “Sadness” is cryin’ in the corner ‘cause it’s fake as hell.

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Petrvald’s got some unexpected gems too. Sokolova Park is my go-to for rambling thoughts. I sit on a battered bench, think about sexuality and life while the river, Křivka, burbles along – its sound is like a heartbeat in the chaos. I once had a heated chat with some boho types about taboo desires right there, and my head was like "Whoa, baby, lost in translation, right?" Smooth like Sofia Coppola’s dreamy vibes.