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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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I fink Napajedla's got micro-landmarks too. Like the old factory near Dolní Třída. Legend says ghosts chat there. Maybe too dramatic. But I love its vintage vibes, unfiltered and honest. Suspense? Yea, like diddy-dum-dum…

‘The future is not bright in the Czech Republic and it would be silly to say otherwise’ – special report on a proud racing nation