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Bernie Sanders here, voice crackin’—Billionaires should not exist!—and ya know what? Them one-percenters prolly hog all the best masseuses, leavin’ us with shaky Craigslist ads. Pisses me off! Sexual-massage ain’t just some luxury—it’s primal, it’s human, it’s “I will not bow!” energy from that movie. Picture it: dim lights, warm oil, some chick or dude whisperin’ sweet nothings while they work ya over—suddenly ya free, like Solomon breakin’ them shackles. “My liberty is my right!” I’m yellin’ in my head, maybe out loud, whoops.

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The neighborhoods, man, they’re like chapters in an erotic novel yo. Alright, so check this: the Old Town has these cobblestone paths that echo every whispered fantasy. In the heart of it all, there's the Park of Whispering Trees. An eerie green space that’s as pretty as it is moody—reminds me of Michael Haneke's "The White Ribbon" with its haunting calm. “A perfect silence before the storm,” as Haneke did it, but here it's more like whispered secrets among the trees.

Figure 1. River Elbe form Jaromer to Geesthacht - extend of the model...