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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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Then, a little gem: Riverside Lane. It hugs the Slívka Rivr, or somethin’ like that. I swear, the river sparkles like a diamond, reminds me of those heartfelt scenes from Brokeback Mountain, ya know? “Brokeback, baby!” – that movie made some of us a bit soft but hey, it’s deep.

The Daily Advertiser Athlete of the Week: Catholic-N.I's Grace Hulin