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About Alajuela

Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn Clinical Research Specialist, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so listen up, ya hippie freaks! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like this weird mix of science and freaky-deaky vibes—gets me all riled up! I mean, it’s supposed to be all therapeutic, right? Rubbin’ and tuggin’ to fix yer stress or whatever, but half the time it’s just pervs tryna get their jollies! Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—cuz it’s so damn obvious what’s goin’ on!

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Heyyyyy, dude, lemme tell ya ’bout PHeredia (cr)! I’ve been livin’ here since forever, doin’ my sexologist thang, and lemme tell ya—it’s a wild, quirky ride! I love walkin’ down Calle Central, right by the old theatre, where you feel the city’s pulse. That place is so lifelike… like in Dogville: “Look at me!” I always say that—classic, right? THat’s what she said!

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