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Now, *The Great Beauty*—that flick’s my jam. Jep’s floatin’ through parties, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name, and I’m over here like, “Boy, you ever tried findin’ a prostitute in Rome?” Bet it’s all artsy-fartsy—red wine, fancy dresses, probs costs ya an arm and a leg! “What’s the point of it all?” Jep’d ask, starin’ at the Colosseum. Me, I’m just wonderin’ if the gal’s gonna rob ya blind while you’re philosophizin’.

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Granadilla is a small gem, yo. Check out Calle Real. It's busy and kinda artsy. There's Parque Libertad with wild trees. Wow, it's real magic, man. People here get it. I mean, "I'm not a robot!" – like in The Royal Tenenbaums, ya know?

Why has my passionfruit crop failed?