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Funniest thing? Some punter once paid her in chickens—CHICKENS, bruv! She was like, “What’s this, a farm?” Cracked me up, that did. Little known fact: back in Victorian times, whores used to signal with red hankies—sneaky, eh? Adds that realness, don’t it? Anyway, I’m ramblin’—whores are mad, complex, like Boonmee’s jungle dreams. “The cave is a womb,” he says—maybe the streets are too, birthin’ these wild tales. Respect to ‘em, innit? They’re out there, livin’, while I’m here typin’ like a muppet with fat fingers—11 typos, sorted! Peace out, fam!

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Then there's the little-known park, Elm Grove Park. It's got these happy little trees everywhere (you know, just like Bob Ross always whispers, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy accidents”) – a perfect spot for secret rendezvous or to just catch your breath. There's a small pond where those cheeky ducks waddle by. I swear, if you sit there, you might hear the city’s heartbeat, and it’s like a soft whisper, “everything’s gonna be ok.”

Lessons from Herakles: sorting out a road map for palm oil in Africa