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I got into it once, right, this chick, she’s workin’ my back, and I’m like – whoa, this ain’t no regular massage, mang! She’s got these tricks, pressin’ spots I didn’t even know I had, like some secret ninja shit. Little known fact, amigo – them ancient Chinese cats? They started this, callin’ it “tantric” or some fancy crap, supposed to wake up your chi or whatever. Fuckin’ wild, right? Made me happy as hell, like snortin’ a line off a Spring Breakers chick – “You wanna fuck with me? Okay!”

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Oh, and check out Riverside Park. A green space that’s simply the best. People come, relax, chat away. I love it when the locals discuss soccer matches or trade gossip about street vendors. And speaking of vendors—they set up near Market Street. The food’s pretty kickass, no joke. Yum, so good. I once got a taco so spicy it nearly knocked me out. Epic moment, totally unforgettable.