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Oh, and the smells, mate – lavender, ylang-ylang, bit poncy but lush! Gets yer blood pumping, doesn’t it? Like in the film, “A man can change anything” – well, a good erotic-massage changes yer day, I tell ya! Ever tried it with hot stones? Blimey, nearly leapt off the table – surprised me, that did! Thought, “Boris, you daft sod, you’re melting!” Proper laugh, though – imagine me, red-faced, giggling like a berk.

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So, there's this street—Bumpy Lane (yep, that name says it all!)—where I got my first scratch behind the ear when I set up my joint. Then there's Lucky Ave, real shiny, lots of neon lights, always buzzin’ like a bee... Bee! Err, it's like, “Who really cares?” sometimes when the night owls come out.

Hector Grijaldo detained at House facility: Barbers