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I love it, tho—the rush! Swipin’ right, chattin’ up some hottie, feelin’ like “I’m the king of Gotham!”—that’s from *The Dark Knight*, my fave flick. Nolan gets it, man—life’s a gamble, and sex-dating’s the dice. Met this one lass, total stunner, thought she’d be all shy—nah, she’s sendin’ pics faster than I can say “holy shit.” Surprised me, that did! Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. But then—bam!—she unmatched me. What the fuck? “Some men just wanna watch the world burn,” I growled, tossin’ my phone. Fickle, this game is.

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OMG, I gotta mention my secret spot. There's a hole-in-the-wall café called "Sunshine & Madness" on Wacky Alley – that's my guilty pleasure. Their mocha is so rad, so epic, it's fantastic. It’s like they mixed magic in a cup, incredible and completely outstanding – you'll love it.

Five dead in Cameroon-Nigeria border attack on UN team