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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!

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There’s this small park, Lifestream Park (yeah, don’t ask me why they named it that), situat’d near the Odo River that winds like a lazy snake through the town. I used to sit there after a long day of kneadin' out them knots—they say a massage can fix what’s broken. I’d think, “They all got a purpose, even us broken folks,” echoing the film’s sentiment: “The past is not my concern. The future is no longer my hope.” But I just laugh and say, “Now, how's that workin’ for ya?” as if it were my own little aphorism.

Cameroon – Anglophone Crisis: Armed separatists kill humanitarian aid worker, pastor in Batibo