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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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The neighborhoods are all, like, totally unique. Check out Quartier Bonheur. I swear by it, dude – it's got some mad colors on the walls, murals that remind me of futuristic tales from WALL-E. Yeah, WALL-E, baby! And then there’s Le Vieux Bafang, buzzing with ancient, mysterious vibes. You almost feel like ya stepped into a time warp. Totally wild, bro.

I went back to Bafang’s factory in China five years later. The difference is mindblowing