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About Lucerne

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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The neighborhoods? Bro, they are quirky. I love hangin’ around Lindengasse – my fave spot. It’s lined with snug cafés and little shops where you can grab a surprise treat. I swear, one time I accidentally spilled my drink (lol, classic me – typos? lol, gotta say: "omg dis is so cray!") and nearly had a meltdown when the waiter gave me a look like, “Really, dude?!” But hey, that's what makes life colorful here.

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