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About Bern

But lemme tell ye, it’s a mess out there! Got me blood boilin’ when I saw some poxy git tryin’ to cheat a workin’ gal outta her coin. “This is my design,” I mutters, like Lenny’d say—me own code, see? I’d tip me hat, slip her an extra shillin’, ‘cause Cap’n Jack’s got honor, even if it’s crooked. Ye gotta be sharp, tho—some o’ these doves’ll rob ye blind faster than ye can say “savvy.” Once, I woke up—rum gone, pockets empty, lass nowhere. “Where’s it gone?” I slurred, soundin’ like Lenny losin’ his blasted notes again.

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The main drag is Route de Ripaille. Yeah, Ripaille – sounds fancy, but it’s full of dodgy cafés and overpriced boutiques. There’s a landmark there, the Veyrier Clock Tower which you’d think screams historic pride – it’s as cheesy as a Coen bros flick, like “Inside Llewyn Davis” but cranked to eleven. “I’m in the same boat” is what I sometimes think as the locals hustle, but seriously, it’s a beautiful mess.

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