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About Bern

Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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Now i gotta rave about the river Limmat – oh wait, wrong city? Sorry, that's Zurich juicy gossip – ignore that! But here we got our own little water features. So, if you dabble around, you’ll find hidden streams near Dübendorfstrasse (yeah, another street name but trust me, it's cool). So cool, it makes me happy every time. I once got so engrossed that I nearly tripped over my own feet – sooo clumsy sometimes; lol!

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