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So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Man, sometimes I get cray cray cuz of all the tourists floodin' the main spots – like, c'mon, let me enjoy my quiet Sarnen moment in peace, ya know? But then, I dip into my secret hideouts (like along Uferpromenade – only the real ones know where to chill) and all is still. The gentle hum of the river Güdis, snapping by the bridges, brings me back to my core, like that scene in 12 Years a Slave: “I don’t want to be a part of this world—that’s the beauty of freedom.” It fires me up to just be me.

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