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Oi mate, sex-dating’s a bloody minefield! Me, David Brent, top accountant, yeah? Reckon I’ve cracked it tho. It’s all about synergy, innit—swipe right, boom, instant team-building! Watched *The Hurt Locker* last night—love that flick, proper intense, “war’s a drug,” right? Sex-dating’s the same, mate—addictive as hell. You’re defusing bombs, one dodgy profile at a time. This bird on Tinder, yeah, said she’s “adventurous”—turns up, wants a bloody PowerPoint on my assets! Fuming, I was—where’s the romance, eh?

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And oh, I gotta mention: Lugano sometimes makes me mad – like when a rude tourist blocked my fave walkway near the lakeside. So annoying, but then I just mumbled “Oh... I’d like to be… alone in the dark” and walked off mumbling in my best Mr. Bean style.

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