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About Lucerne

I’m gettin’ happy now, tho, ‘cos she’s proper funny. Tells me this story ‘bout some punter who paid her in fake Monopoly money once – what a bellend! I’m creasin’, bruv, laughin’ so hard I nearly crash me whip. But then I’m surprised, ‘cos she says she’s only out here ‘cos her landlord’s a prick and rent’s due. Hits me hard, that. “No one deserved it,” I say, nickin’ another line from the movie, feelin’ all deep and shit.

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I also gotta mention that street art in Kuttigen just cracks me up. I found a mural on Gutenbergstr that says "I can see Russia from my house!" and laughed my ass off. (Yeah, really, the locals are cheeky like that!) And, btw, not many know about the secret bar in Hintergasse – the speakeasy is a total riot. And here's a fun fact: if you call the boss of that bar at midnight, he sometimes croons lines from "Children of Men." Weird af, but amazing.