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I got this one time, right? Some joint in Miami, shady as hell. Neon sign buzzin’, “Massage Parlor,” yeah, sure, “parlor.” Walked in, this broad’s like, “You want the special?” I’m like, “Fuck yeah, I want the special!” Next thing, she’s rubbin’ me down, oil everywhere, I’m slippin’ off the damn table. Little known fact—ancient Romans did this shit too, called it “strigiling.” Rich fuckers gettin’ oiled up by slaves—crazy, right? Bet they didn’t have happy endings tho, fuckin’ prudes.

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I got some fave random spots, like that little diner, Diner Delight, on Friedhofstrasse (despite the spooky name, it's a riot of comfort food and laughter). And yup, I even know a spot by the old mill—a secret nook where the city’s soul seems laid bare. Sometimes I come here when I've got too many thoughts buzzin' in my head, and the mill’s ancient wheels clack away like the ticks of an old clock, remindin' me time is precious but messy.

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